To Be Simple

A lot of people (three, to be precise) have been asking for a new post.

Since the last post (and a good chunk of the comment section) was all about how great a husband I am, I figured I would just leave that one up there for a while to give everyone a good chance to soak it up.

(Note: If you’ve already rolled your eyes or groaned as a result of reading that last line, you may want to stop reading this post and go to another blog or skip to the end of this post to the part labeled “Conclusion”)

Today, I considered writing an April Fool’s Day post, but I couldn’t come up with anything, and Joseph’s only prank ideas involved him quietly taking the furniture polish into another room and then running around the house spraying until I could catch him (true story).

Since the last post was about gifts, I will continue on the theme of gifts.

Love Languages
When I was younger, I remember my sisters and a lot of other people getting really excited about a book that helped you figure out your “Love Languages” (If you’re unfamiliar with it you can consult my favorite source for trivial information: the wikipedia).

Basically, the way I understand it is that everyone feels loved (and shows love) through different forms of expression or different “love languages.” The book divided these languages into neat compartments including: having nice things said to you, doing things for others, or physical touch. My personal favorite language was “receiving gifts.” When I first heard this, my initial thought was “That’s so superficial/greedy!” (My initial thoughts often feature two or more words with slashes in between them. Sometimes, after the initial thought wears off, the slashes turn into ampersands, but not usually).

My Love Language
Now that I’m older, my views have changed. I’ve realized that having “receiving gifts” as your love language is actually a really great way to get people to give you stuff (my parents are so proud of the wisdom and maturity that comes to me with age).

With this realization I’ve made a concentrated effort to let everyone know that my love language—my exclusive love language—is, in fact, receiving gifts.

As someone once said:

“Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say ‘Hey man, I love you this many dollars-worth.’”

The other great thing about love languages is that the one by which you feel love does not have to be the same as the one by which you show love. So while I know that people love me when they give me gifts, I can show love to them in many other ways such as “giving them personal space” or “hiding unhealthy food from them by putting the cookies in the back of the cupboard behind the cans of cream of mushroom soup.”


My In-Laws
I’ve been blessed with great in-laws who have picked up on my subtle (but concentrated) efforts to let them know that the only way I feel love is through gifts, and they have risen to the challenge.

For example:

Lindsey
For my birthday, Lindsey gave me a German novel that I’ve wanted to read for a while. The book is titled “Die Vermessung der Welt,” which any high-school student with at least a year of German will tell you means “Messing with the World.” (Actually, that’s not at all what it means. This is just one reason why you should never trust the foreign language skills of a high-school student).

This year, I set the goal to read (and finish) a book a month. In January, I read and finished three books. I haven’t read any since then, but if I pick up again in April, I will still be on pace to read 12 books by the end of the year. Erin doesn’t think that’s what I had in mind when I made my goal. This is why I don’t let Erin set my goals.

As a point of reference, for Erin’s birthday this year, Lindsey gave Erin two bags of dirt.

Lauren
For Valentines (or because she was cleaning out her closet in early February), Hoadus gave me some golf balls and other golf paraphernalia that made her think of me. A lot of people may think it’s awkward to get a Valentine’s present from their sister-in-law, but hey, free golf balls.

Kiersten
Kiersten gave me the Donut.

You can’t put a price tag on that (because selling your offspring is illegal), but during his brief lifetime the Donut has provided me (and all the people within his small, but expanding, sphere of influence) with a lot of really funny memories.

Matt
Even though Matt’s still just a teenager, and even though Matt doesn’t have a job (yet), Matt gave me a wii.


"How?" you say. Let me explain:

You see, Matt convinced his parents to get him a wii for earning his Eagle Scout award. Actually, Matt pulled off convincing his parents to give him a wii for earning his Eagle Scout award three years (and counting) before he ever earned his Eagle Scout award, thus enabling me to play his wii before we ever moved to California.

One day, Matt may actually earn his Eagle Scout award. By then I’m hoping he’ll have a new video game system so he’ll give his old wii to me for keeps.


Conclusion
Because my in-laws love me so much, I have decided to give them something in return. Every weekday during the month of April, I will give to them a Joseph post on this blog.

If I don’t actually reach this goal (I’m giving myself about a 1 in 7 chance of making it), then consider that previous line to be my April Fool’s Day joke.

Also, because this post has gone much too long without a picture of Joseph:




Addendum:
Nancy and Sam, if you’re wondering why you didn’t get a mention in this post, we’re wondering where the pictures of the ring are. Erin says she has no reason to believe that things are official until we have pictures of Nancy’s left hand.