So, according to a very reputable news agency, upon which I often rely,* "Nicole Kidman was spotted having lunch with two friends at Bread and Company in Nashville on Friday," looking "relaxed and glowing and surprisingly fresh-faced for a new mom." This is just four days after she gave bith to little Sunday Rose.
And my reaction is, HOW IN THE WHAT?
In struggling to remember the condition I was in four days after giving birth, I recall the following things that would have impeded me from lunching with pals at a trendy little cafe:
(1) That I couldn't walk down my stairs to go out of my apartment, and indeed did not do so until Joseph's 10-day check up.
(2) That I was crying most of the time, alternately about how much I loved Joseph, how much I loved Todd, and most of all how Joseph was going to starve to death because we hadn't yet gotten breast-feeding down.
(3) That my chest consisted of two lead-filled melons, leaked at the rate of about a quart an hour, and hurt like a billion papercuts.
(4) That Joseph's feedings took about an hour-and-a-half long, and had to be repeated about every three hours (start-to-start), giving me about an hour, max, to be away from him at a time.
(5) That I had slept maybe a combined total of 8 hours in the preceding 5 days.
(6) That a copious (but not excessive, thank you very much) amount of painkillers was the only thing preventing laughing, coughing, or moving from sending me into fits of agony.
So, either it's true that "motherhood really suits her well," as the observer who spotted her was quoted as saying, or that she was taking way more percocet than I was, or that she has a whole boatload of help at home. But anyway, more power to her.
*www.people.com
5 comments:
I am especially looking forward to number 3...although mine will probably be more like swelling clementines....
if lauren's are only clementines then i guess the most i can expect are that min will swell to the size of peas...
i seriously loved this post though. It was sweet and funny.
Gads. Cherie and I are laughing so hard at your after birth situation because all those details are so TRUE!
it drives me nuts when people praise super-rich stars for their parenting when in reality they do very little of it. they outsource parenting. did the article mention that the baby was with her? i felt similarly after giving birth, minus the c-section part. no one would have made that comment about me
Ha! I'm guessing the last two options are true of Nicole Kidman - painkillers galore and nannies up the wazoo. Stars don't even know what being a parent is really like. Okay, that's a mean generalization, but for the most part it's true. I love the descriptions of your early weeks after giving birth. So true!!!
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